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falling inward for northeastern winters...

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falling inward for northeastern winters...

Post by Mademoiselle on January 29th 2008, 3:01 am

i havent' been on for a bit, for which i feel sorry.
seems sorry's are gone with the baby oil and vodka bottles these days. and i suppose it's not worth the energy it requires.
i've been sick. had a vicious case of bronchitis. it started on a friday night.... i went out with some good old friends, the kind that you don't even think of sorry's for. we toasted to something dear and priceless at every round, flirtatious and poking fun with/at laughing strangers, chain-smoking and dancing like children...
it was the chain-smoking that got me, for the next morning i felt it stuck in my lungs, the dryness. by sunday i was barking like a seal and bed-ridden, and by tuesday i was really in a bad way... desperate and aching and a blubbering mess, almost thinking of needing a doctor, but, ha, "i cant afford to throw money away on a doctor", she said. instead i forged on with my herbs and my faith in them. they did it, with the help of a little patience, although i must admit i had doubts.
i'm speaking of this because something really beautiful came of my illness, for as i was stuck in the house nursing the lungs for a straight week, out of me came these long-forgotten and much-needed parts of myself... memories of the burche's of yesterday came flooding over me, dark memories, of deaths i've died and places i've been inside me, memories of innocence lost. memories that i'd long since burried and forgotten and deemed useless. a fool i'd been. and now, seeing it all i feel like i'm coming into myself in this strange way that i haven't in years. i've been running around the house in this state of newness and profound discovery, yelling "here i am, oh, i'm here", and pacing about with this nervousness of the responsibilty of my rediscovered self. something strange and awkward and beautiful is happening to everything i am.
im so greatful for this damn bronchitis, and i thought it appropriate to share this with you as reminder in our doubting moments, that each little illness surely has it's place, within and around us, even when we can't see.
-burch
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Mademoiselle
Cup a Joe
Cup a Joe

Number of posts : 47
Age : 31
Location : God only knows...
Favorite Medicinals : Miss Agrimony, Mushrooms, Usnea, Elder....
Favorite Implements/Products : miss money's staple-gun
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Re: falling inward for northeastern winters...

Post by Jacksta on January 30th 2008, 8:03 pm

it is february. still.

the sun will peek out momentarily, what a loong season it seems- sigh

are you still coughing and coughing? bronchitis is dreadful.. at the bank, in the line at the market, in the middle of a quiet social setting, always someplace where you have to, "give way" to the choking, red eyed, face now getting bloated, may as well cry too, eyes are watering.

remember the wild cherry bark syrup we made? i dosed mine up with some kava as well, it was a solvent exchange so it didn't burn hard and nasty like the 100000 percent does. something ti keep in mind when dolling up your cough syrups.

i will try to give you a jingle..

love what you wrote by the way
Wink

_________________
"Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself."
~Henry Miller


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Jacksta
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Number of posts : 168
Age : 52
Location : Base Camp
Favorite Medicinals : Ashwagandha, Pedicularis, Lavandula, Vetiver, A.Ginseng, Tulsi, Propolis
Favorite Implements/Products : Awls, Old Timer, Hori-Hori, Blender, Phybiosis,D. Hoffmann's Herbals, Felcos
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Re: falling inward for northeastern winters...

Post by Amy Christine on February 4th 2008, 6:10 am

M'moiselle,
i love what you wrote, too, and i just read this poem that made me think of you...

"I love the dark hours of my being.
My mind deepens into them.
There i can find, as in old letters,
the days of my life, already lived,
and held like a legend, and understood.

Then the knowing comes: I can open
to another life that's wide and timeless.

So I am sometimes like a tree
rustling over a gravesite
and making real the dream
of the one its living roots
embrace:

a dream once lost
among sorrows and songs."

-rilke
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Amy Christine
Postum
Postum

Number of posts : 7
Age : 38
Favorite Medicinals : the stillness and quiet of winter, and schizandra, my warm, sexy friend.
Favorite Implements/Products : chocolate, appendages, farfignugen, a pale stout porter that hops
Registration date : 2007-10-24

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Re: falling inward for northeastern winters...

Post by Mademoiselle on February 6th 2008, 11:12 pm

juni,
thankyou my dear for the poem. love it. Rilke? hmm...
hope all is well with you. oregon farm life for you, eh?
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Mademoiselle
Cup a Joe
Cup a Joe

Number of posts : 47
Age : 31
Location : God only knows...
Favorite Medicinals : Miss Agrimony, Mushrooms, Usnea, Elder....
Favorite Implements/Products : miss money's staple-gun
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Re: falling inward for northeastern winters...

Post by Jacksta on February 7th 2008, 2:25 am

one of my favorites..




You must give birth to your images.
They are the future waiting to be born.
Fear not the strangeness that you feel.
The future must enter you long
before it happens.
Just wait for the hour, the birth of new clarity

::Ranier Maria Rilke::

_________________
"Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself."
~Henry Miller


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Jacksta
Barista
Barista

Number of posts : 168
Age : 52
Location : Base Camp
Favorite Medicinals : Ashwagandha, Pedicularis, Lavandula, Vetiver, A.Ginseng, Tulsi, Propolis
Favorite Implements/Products : Awls, Old Timer, Hori-Hori, Blender, Phybiosis,D. Hoffmann's Herbals, Felcos
Registration date : 2007-09-23

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Re: falling inward for northeastern winters...

Post by Mademoiselle on February 14th 2008, 7:42 pm

jacksta,
your images never cease to amaze me.
i imagine you heading up to some dusty attic to sift through boxes of these beautiful, prodding and relentless pieces of art, smiling mischeviously when you find the right one for the 'occasion'.
where you find these things... i don't even want to know.
better to feel.
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Mademoiselle
Cup a Joe
Cup a Joe

Number of posts : 47
Age : 31
Location : God only knows...
Favorite Medicinals : Miss Agrimony, Mushrooms, Usnea, Elder....
Favorite Implements/Products : miss money's staple-gun
Registration date : 2007-10-03

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Re: falling inward for northeastern winters...

Post by Inti on February 15th 2008, 5:35 am

Beautiful

_________________
Looking up gives light, although at first it makes you dizzy.
-Rumi
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Inti
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Number of posts : 144
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Favorite Medicinals : Holy Basil, Frankinsence, Copal, Sandalwood, Ginger, Passiflora,
Favorite Implements/Products : Condor feather, Humming bird medicine, Agua di Florida
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Re: falling inward for northeastern winters...

Post by Jacksta on February 15th 2008, 5:57 am

"i imagine you heading up to some dusty attic to sift through boxes of
these beautiful, prodding and relentless pieces of art, smiling
mischeviously.."

that about describes my brain.

_________________
"Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself."
~Henry Miller


avatar
Jacksta
Barista
Barista

Number of posts : 168
Age : 52
Location : Base Camp
Favorite Medicinals : Ashwagandha, Pedicularis, Lavandula, Vetiver, A.Ginseng, Tulsi, Propolis
Favorite Implements/Products : Awls, Old Timer, Hori-Hori, Blender, Phybiosis,D. Hoffmann's Herbals, Felcos
Registration date : 2007-09-23

View user profile http://deltafoxtrot.tumblr.com/

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Re: falling inward for northeastern winters...

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